Stop being a shitty person, you faggot. (Read me)

I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do. Well, actually, I kinda am.

I admit it. Sometimes, I’m a really shitty person. It’s mostly the things I do. I tend to get a little bit over myself. I bit too confident. The important thing is that I know whether I’m being a shitty dude or not.

My definition of shitty is just as how it sounds. It’s like being a faggot. Not that faggot means gay or anything. Just look at it from Louis C.K.’s point of view…

Faggot didn’t mean gay when I was a kid, you called somebody a faggot because they were being a faggot. […] I would never call a gay guy a faggot, unless he was being a faggot, but not because he’s gay. Like, if I saw two guys blowing each other, I don’t know why I’m watching them do it… I don’t know, I stumbled upon a couple of fellas blowing one another on their respective penesia–That’s plural for penis that invented today. I would be respectful to them, “Hello, gentlemen.” But if one of them took the dick out of his mouth and started acting all faggy and saying annoying faggy things, “You know, people from Phoenix are Phonecians” or something like that. I’d be like, “Hey, shut up, faggot. FAGGOT! Quit being a faggot and suck that dick!”

Not all that hard to understand. Louis C.K. puts it like this. “Faggot” is a derogatory term that shouldn’t mean anything near being a homosexual. He probably used “faggot” because of how you can pronounce it with a certain amount of intensity. It catches attention. He turns the word into a synonym for someone annoying or an asshole.

To be honest, the reason I’m writing this entry is because I’ve been feeling especially like an asshole today. It wasn’t my fault. I was pushed. I was pushed over the edge of Mt. Asshole. It’s actually a volcano. Ehem-ehem. Whatever floats your boat.

It’s not that I choose to be one; sometimes, you just have to be THE asshole. It’s not surprising to think that some people don’t take me seriously because of my ENFP-styled attitude. I’m a friend. I love being a friendly dude. I am Mr. Congeniality. <–being an asshole

I’ll put it this way… I’m turning into an asshole (exclusively for this week only!) because of some shit that’s going down. PROJECT MAKING.

I love my group. They’re awesome people. But it takes more than a “friend” to get the gears rolling. My group mates are cooperating anyway, so I don’t have much of a problem. Well, most of them. You know that feeling when you’re a herdsman and there’s just this one sheep who refuses to enter the barn when it’s resting time? “Dammit, sheep. I already told you. You can’t come in my barn when it’s near morning. I told you to come in at night.” For all you reading this, that’s like an analogy to the most annoying thing a leader has to face in a group… which includes the thing I hate that happens EVERY time… Last minute submissions.

Bato-bato sa langit, matamaan ‘wag magalit.

You know who you are. I’m not even sure if you read this blog. If you do though, thanks. I appreciate it.

ANYWAY……..

Everyone in the group is fucking pissed. Probably more than I am.. and I’m the leader. It’s always procrastination. PETIKS.  I’m sorry but that won’t cut it. This project needs work. We’ve all done our parts, why can’t you? The thing that you sent me a while ago doesn’t even count as one paragraph.

I’m not hating on you. This is a calling. A calling to change.

MANAGE YOUR TIME BETTER, FAGGOT.

I’ll stop it now.

Peace out!

A joke about something mundane

People who make other people happy with jokes are usually the saddest ones. Damn right.

I made a joke today. It wasn’t well received. It was about my girlfriend’s bag. I didn’t really think that it would do any damage. It’s harmless.

I’m writing this in my blog, which I know she barely reads. I say everything to her so I guess she wouldn’t need to read my thoughts off the computer.

So back to the problem.. I made a joke that wasn’t funny to her.

Did I mean it? No. And it was a joke about a bag. There’s obviously no malice there. Jeez, I didn’t even think about the effect of that joke. It’s the type of thing she’d just laugh about.

She knew what she was signing up for when we got together. I make a lot of jokes and she used to laugh or brush it off when she was my target. This is too weird for me to handle. I made more offensive and insesnitive jokes in the past and this never happened.

I guess I lost my touch. Or maybe she’s fed up with me. I dunno. Nevermind. We’ll see.

Note: To be honest, that joke was corny as fuck. I think the delivery threw me off.

Allowed

Sometimes I wonder if we were ever really allowed to make mistakes. “I make mistakes. No one’s perfect. I’m only human.” seems to be the most clichéd excuse ever.
Everytime I make a mistake, it seems unforgivable. There’s never a way out. I admit, I’m pretty competent. I’m coordinated. I wouldn’t say organized though. I’m not trying to make this post perfect, but I am trying to make it easier to comprehend. It doesn’t fucking matter if it’s riddled with grammatical errors or missing punctuations. I don’t care. Why should you?
Even if I meant to type this in some wingdings bullshit, I’d probably bw crucified.
Life isn’t fair and everyone knows this. Sometimes people make mistakes and just get off scot-free. Sometimes we make mistakes and people shove that shit back to our faces.
There are things that make everything harder after being served the “You’re wrong/That’s not right/You always fuck shit up (in a bad way)” speech. I have rage issues that I’ve successfully hidden over the years because I learned to keep my cool. But, things change. I’m feeling it come back. Not a good sign for a recovering psychotic maniac.
It’s not fair and no one deserves this bullshit. “I’m only human.” So am I and every other person on this planet.

Dat cat a freak doe

I’m on a bench outside the cafeteria in school. I spot a cat. Damn. This cat is a boss. It knows  what’s up. It’s updated. It knows whether the man knows what he knows or doesn’t know. It’s got its own theme song. Everytime I see that cat, an Akon song plays in my head. Smack that, smack that. I don’t know what it is about this cat. All I know is that I’m its bitch now.

I’m gonna be updating regularly

I guess

It’s My Life (Whatever I Wanna Do) – A Memoir

I’ll start off this post with an explanation. The title is a reference to an Indian song by Vennu Mallesh titled, “It’s My Life (Whatever I Wanna Do)”. Though the song seems like a broken-english filled masterpiece, it does have a very serious message that I will later elaborate on.

Moving on, I’d like to start my memoir by telling you how I began my journey into awesomeness.

I wrote a wikipedia entry for class, but I omitted the fictional parts about me having superpowers, being a award-winning director (that only won the Academy Award 1 time, though I did win the Golden Globe 141135141 times).

Here’s the gist of it:

I was born in Ermita, Manila to Eric and Reena… uh Tabs. They named me Alexio, which is Polish for Alexander. They said it meant something like “defender and helper of man”. That’s cool, I guess.

In my early school life, I studied in a lot of schools and I also got some awards with it. I was class valedictorian in kindergarten (woop woop). I also received honors in grade school. Although in high school, I wasn’t an honor student (I received only one in my 4 years), I received an award for best speaker in 4th year, by unanimous decision.

Now, I study in my choice of university, in my choice of course, with people I’m comfortable being with.

I’ll explain more about myself in another way. The standard essay is kinda boring. I’m going to try my best to make it more interesting.

If I were an animal I would be…

When I was thinking of an animal that best described myself, I also had to think about the different qualities of every animal that could describe me. Not only should the animal be as awesome and terrifying as me, but should have the small qualities as well. I wanted the animal to be accurate. I thought of the honey badger (or ratel) because it’s really cool. It’s cute, lazy, and it’s pretty tough. Honey badgers can be hardworking at times too. When pursued be predators and escape is impossible, honey badgers fight back. Sometimes, they even fight lions. They also tend to not care much about their surroundings and only they only do whatever they want. However, it can be seen that they too have a cute and sensitive side when they try to gain attention. They howl with a distinct “KYIYAY-AA-AA-AA!” sound. Tell me that that wasn’t cute. Honey badgers have a diet that consists of animals and some fruits and vegetables. However, their all-time favorite snack is honey. They usually follow bees around looking for honey. Honey badgers are pretty ferocious and cool so, I thought that this animal best describes me because I’m lazy at times but I can get serious, too. I also like wearing black, which is the color of the honey badger, and my favorite house in Hogwarts is Hufflepuff, which the animal in its emblem is the badger.

People don’t really agree that I can be a honey badger though. I can see that they’re just intimidated by my radiant awesomeness.

I’d like to associate myself with things. Like everyday items, I have certain features.

I am…

I’d like to say that I compare myself to an extension cord. They’re really helpful. You’d never know when you’d need it. They’re flexible and important to use. The extension cord just finds a way for you to charge your stuff or get things done. It’s quite out-of-the-box but, I hope you get my point.

My friends also try to associate me with normal everyday items.

My friend, Cesar, once compared me to hair wax. He said that he chose hair wax mainly because I was vain.

To be honest, I was shocked when Cesar said that I was vain. I didn’t realize that I was what he said I was. I don’t really look much into my attire for the day. I think it was maybe of my shoe choices. I love Nike branded shoes and I always want them original, because of the durability.

It’s not just the shoes though. As I thought about it, I saw what he was talking about. I realized that I was obsessed with my hair. I have a lot of hair-care products at home. My hair may look messy, but it suits me. I do a lot of work just to get my hair in its perfect messy form. If it’s too messy, I look messy. I have to do a lot of curling, spiking, rubbing, and, sometimes, hair-drying to get this form.

I’m not quite sure of my clothing choices. I like to wear black a lot because it’s slimming. I don’t really look into the design as much. Sometimes, it’s just a plan black shirt. I also like wearing collared tees. It makes me feel formal, even though it’s more casual than formal. I like to wear shorts a lot, too. It keeps me cool and I feel comfortable.

So, yeah. I was a bit fazed by his comments. No one’s ever called me vain. I mean, I’m not really. Right? Well… That’s because here in college, it’s no holds barred. People say what they mean. There’s no time to waste, you know? *laughs*

Wasting time… Ugh. It’s times like these that I remember key parts of my life that have happened. You know, the times where I was on top. I’d like to call it my lifeline. It’s like my life journey being documented so far.

Here’s my lifeline:

1995 – January 18: I was born. It’s my birthday!

1996 – I said my first word (this is debatable). The word was “mama”.

1998 – My first taste of nilagang baka, the succulent nectar of boars and cattle. Mmmmm… *drools*

2001- I was the class valedictorian in Kinder

– I got in Ateneo De Manila Grade School

2003- I moved to Cradle Of Joy Learning Center

2005- I moved to Marist School Marikina

2012- I graduated from high school and entered college

– July 28: The girl I asked to be my girlfriend said… “YES!” AWWW YEAHHHH!

So far, these are only some of the important things that have happened in my life. I have a lot more, but, this lifeline needs more work. I actually didn’t include one thing in that lifeline, one political event that would change my perspective on things.

I’m talking about my 2nd Year candidacy for Class Vice President.

In my time as a high school student, I’ve said some bad things about others. It’s not that I mean them, it’s just that I really wanted to win. There’s no excuse for rude things that have been said. I said bad things about this guy… and I won. This led me to believe that those who get the most attention will win at anything. I got all of the crowd’s attention while this guy was bombarded with foul words. I regret ever doing this to anyone.

I mean, I’ve changed. I’ve done so much to do so. I’m in a relationship right now and I don’t want to mess it up by doing something really dumb. Which brings me to the next topic, my relationship.

I met Yomi, my bebegurl, in college. Some would say that we went too fast. We became instant bestfriends. We had just met, though. So, I spent every afternoon just being with her. I learned a lot from her just by taking time and talking. I realized that I had fallen for her after we were left alone by our seemingly omnipotent friend, Cesar. I wanted so much to be more than friends, but I didn’t want to get heartbroken. I thought that if I had tried, I’d get shot down. Well, that wasn’t the case. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she immediately replied with a “YES!” and I was really happy. The picture shown isn’t really the picture I chose but, then again, every picture I’ve had with her just intensifies the memory of that day she said yes.

Now, I think I’d like to end this essay with lyrics from the Vennu Mallesh song, “It’s My Life (Whatever I Wanna Do)”.

“I am a Day Dreamer…
I am a Night Worker…
I am a Risk Taker…
I am a Self Blamer…
I am a Brain Eater…
I am a Heart Stealer…
I am a Mind Reader…
I am a Truth Finder…
I am a Smart Cheater…
I am a Pain Killer…
I am a Good Teacher…
I am a Perfect Learner…
I am a Back Bencher…
I am a New Senser…
I am a Kids Lover…
I am a Soul Builder…
I am very Anger…

I know it’s very danger…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJa2kwoZ2a4

It doesn’t make that much sense. Still, the man wrote a song about being himself and doing what he wants. That’s the life I want. I want to be more than just Alexio. I wanna be more than just an average guy doing whatever in school. I want to live a life that defines greatness. I wanna be the very best. I just want to have fun. Even though, those last two lines were references to other songs, I just did what I wanted. My life is not at all near completion so, I want to make the most of it. I want to lead an amazing life. By amazing life, I mean, I want to lead a life not just for me, but for others as well.

It’s sad when you live for yourself.

It’s too cliche, but, it’s what I want.